The Harold Baines Is Not Yet Dead Memorial Honorary Guest Post: David, on How Much ESPN Sucks

[originally posted by David on our fantasy baseball league discussion board]

Okay, did you guys watch the home run derby? Let me refresh your memories a little bit...

After Ryan Howard was eliminated, Peter Gammons conducted a short interview with him on the sidelines. Here's a rough transcription of what took place:

PG: Ryan, a lot of players say that competing in the home run derby can mess with your mechanics for the rest of the year. Did you feel negatively effected after you performance last year?

RH: Um, not really.

Okay, wait a minute Peter. I've got a little interview I'd like to conduct with you:

DR: You mean last year when Ryan Howard hit 58 home runs (30 after the all star break) and won the National League MVP award?

PG: Yeah, right. Last year.

DR: What are you? Fucking retarded?

PG: Maybe. Or just really fucking old.

DR: How is it that you have a job covering the baseball when you obviously don't know anything about baseball?

PG: Focus groups found me far less obnoxious than Chris "Gives a stupid nickname to every professional athlete such as but not limited to Albert Winnie the Pooh Jols" Berman.

Christ. I am so sick of ESPN right now. I'm gonna start my own sports news show where we don't waste time listening to Keyshawn "Stupid football player" Johnson talking about whether Lisa Leslie or Jeff Gordon is more "now"