Sports Break: Adventures in Personal Assistance

[continuing the theme of pawning off my regular posting duties, this is, again, courtesy of Wily Mo Adams via email- completely non-sports related, but entertaining nonetheless...]

So my boss had to be at a photo shoot today--I think it's something to do with Jell-O--and decided it would be right to give me the keyfob to her 9,000-pound, GPS-equipped Nissan Murano (weight figure est.). This way,while she schmoozed an art buyer, I could make stops at the gas station("only PREMIUM gas"), car wash, hardware store and local women's shelter. She forgot to give me directions to the shelter, however; a blessing, really, as this prevented me from backing over any wayward, clothes-seeking ladies in the manner that I, at the car wash, reversed right over a cart, tip-box and ragbag. Thankfully, Holly's SUV is made--I think--of the same material Richard Branson uses on his spacemobile, so there were no scratches. Still.

Also, the hardware store was out of the fluorescent bulbs I was sent to purchase. Awesome.

I should probably ingest something other than espresso and nicotine. In the meantime, I'm going to fend off a heart attack.