Goddammit of Holy Shit: They're at it AGAIN
This really shouldn't be surprising, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still piss the crap out of me.
My best friends at ESPN.com have managed to squeeze features highlighting the RED SOX (oh, heavenly love!) into 3 of their final 5 of those cute little faux-researched "Hot Stove Heaters" articles they've been churning out:
Infield "Cold Plate Special": RED SOX
Best Rotation: RED SOX
Bullpen "Cold Plate Special": Fuck you, Sean McAdam. No seriously, go f yourself in the f hole.*
I'm tired of this shit. Even Red Sox fans are tired of the Red Sox! Well, okay, at the very least, they're tired of the Patriots.
On to actual criticisms: Okay, I'll give them the infield thing. I looked it up and it turns out the Red Sox' infield is in fact really really shitty (what with Julio Lugo's presence). The rotation? Hard to argue with, but there are questions at least- Shilling's health, Dice-K's transition, the suckiness of Josh Beckett last year, Tim Wakefield's hip-replacement surgery, etc. Enough questions to instead give the honor to some poor team that hasn't been talked about, at least. The Tigers would have worked. The Padres rotation is looking pretty solid. Eh?
Okay, but here's what's not arguable: that the poor baby Red Sox have the worst bullpen in the majors. Golly, that's like saying the Red Sox have the worst lineup in baseball!
Here's what the purported worst bullpen in baseball consists of:
-setup monster Brendan Donnelly (career 2.87 ERA, 1.17 WHIP, 151 ERA+)
-solid veteran Mike Timlin (career 3.55 ERA, 1.28 WHIP, 128 ERA+)
-potentially sick J.C. Romero (remember 2002? 1.89 ERA in 81.0 IP, granted he's been awful since then)
-super prospect Craig Hansen
-moderately successful dudes Joel Piniero and Julian Tavarez
You couldn't find any team with a worse bullpen than this?! I'm not going to list teams again because the obviousness of this fact is even beyond facetious rub-your-lazy-wrongness-in-your-stupid-face research.
I will say this, though- McAdams reasons correctly that they have no proven closer.
Wait a minute... boofuckinghoo McRutherford: the Reds haven't had a closer for 2 years! Last year seven players led their team with less than 20 saves!
I'm so bitter.
*apparently Sean McAdam is... a violin?
4 comments:
Goddammit, now these assholes have made ME post consecutive entries on the Red Sox.
I'll get you Tim Kurkjian!!!
What "no proven closer" translates to no bullpen? Stupid media pundits who think we peasants can't comprend (errr sell) a bullpen of more than person, maybe two if you count a set-up man, rely on buzz words like closer and save. The Sox have Donnelly, Timlin, Romero from MVP Baseball 2005, Tavarez from Triple Play '99 and Pinero who all could close better than "proven closer" Bob Wickman of the Atlanta "Best Bullpen" Braves.
P.S. "Proven closer" That's what she said.
I gotta add that Baseball Prospectus has the Red Sox rotation ranked 10th in the AL in SNLVAR. Which is a real statistic. And also suggests that they have far from the best rotation in the majors.
http://www.baseballprospectus.com/statistics/
sortable/index.php?cid=102925
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