FINALLY Some Good News...

Thank you thank you thank you SI's John Donovan, for your relevant and interesting article on MLB's new mandate to keep its balls moist. (Go ahead, click the link. I dare you.)

Anyways, not only could this be one of the most interesting storylines of the season, but Donovan repeatedly makes reference to apparently existent teams with funny names like the "Cincinnati Reds," the "Colorado Rockies," and the "Kansas City Royals."

Why...I didn't think the Major AL East Baseball League had teams in Nebraska or wherever! I bet their bullpens and lineups aren't anywhere as noteworthily troublesome as my beloved team, the [CENSORED] [CENSOREDSOX] or else surely I would have heard of them by now!