Debunking an Inane Football Journalist

[title courtesy of the headline makers at SI.com]

I'm going for the throat. I'm gonna take down PK- and on his own, non-fantasy football turf.

From Monday Morning Quarterback, Tuesday Edition (re: Games Played on Sunday, Except for that One on Monday. Tomorrow is Wednesday) by Peter King:

I want to begin my Tuesday morning by thanking Arizona coach Ken Whisenhunt for debunking the biggest myth in all of football: that you can't replace your starting quarterback for three or four series during a game because you'll ruin his psyche.

Okay, now re-read it and make sure you understand the BIGGEST MYTH he is all sweaty and salty about debunking: that you MUSN'T temporarily replace your starting QB in the middle of a football game, OR ELSE, BECAUSE IF YOU DO...he will be upset. His confidence will be shaken. He'll go nutty.

To argue his point, PK boldly presents this rock-hard and conclusive peice of evidence: a quote from Matt Leinart after being replaced temporarily by Kurt Warner in the last two Cardinal games, both wins:

"If I'm the franchise quarterback, play me and let me stumble, because I'll
fight through it, and that will help me and our team in the long run. I know
coaches want to win now, and they have their reasons. But I don't understand,
and this switching back and forth is almost worse than getting benched.''\

Bullseye!

Bingo!

Jenga!

The Title of That Stupid Movie With Robin Williams Where that Fucked Up Board Game Came to Life and Tried to Kill You that was Weirdly Marketed to Children and Can You Believe They're Making a Sequel of Some Sort What the Fuck!*

You've done it, Peter!

You've proven beyond reasonable doubt that YOU CAN'T replace your starting QB in the middle of the game BECAUSE IT WILL MESS WITH HIS PSYCHE with this telling quote from a bothered, tortured, pained, confidence-beaten, priority-fucked, psyche-shat Matt Leinart, a starting QB who was replaced in the middle of a game.

I mean, I'm no professional sports journalist, but "I don't understand and this...is almost worst than getting benched," sounds pretty psyche-damagy to me.

Okay, look. I know I'm being overly literal. Read the whole article, and it's clear that PK is ACTUALLY arguing against a "myth" that sounds more like:

Under no circumstances should you ever temporarily replace your starting QB or you will lose.

...which the Cardinals have apparently disproven by winning the past two games by doing just that. Okay, that's completely fair. But...but he doesn't say that. Mr. Monday Morning says this [paraphrasing]:

Temporarily replacing your starting QB midway through a game will smush your QB's confidence.

There's a big fat logical disconnect here. He cites as the "myth" not the myth itself but the reason that the myth exists. Peter use brainy. (p.s. pickiness makes me feel better about myself.)

And I still have to berate P. Jerk for his unnecessary and large-cock claim that this is the "biggest myth in all of football." Ergo:


Bigger Football Myths Than the QB Thing:

Eli and Peyton are blood-relatives
Devin Hester can be stopped
LT was born on the planet Earth
Gnomes hold the ball in place at kickoff
The lady in the Chunky Soup commercials is, in fact, Donovan McNabb's mom
Terry Bradshaw is socially graceful human being
Punting is a good idea
Touchdown celebrations kill pupkits, the genetic combination of puppy and kitten
Pac-Man Jones didn't do it
Fuck! My guy was right there and I pressed B! That shoulda been a pick! Fuck Madden.


In conclusion: Peter needs to pay attention to what he writes.



*It was Jumanji. That's what I was thinking of. Stupid fucking movie.