Showing posts with label espn suckiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label espn suckiness. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

People Are Basically Stupid

ESPN is dumb. Its internet fanbase is dumber.


ESPN is dumb because it posted a question about baseball players that even the extra-casual fan of baseball are clueless about:

2) Which player who spent most or all of his career in the pre-Rawlings Gold
Glove era was the best overall defensive player?

Its internet fanbase is dumber because they very clearly picked based on name recognition alone [as of 11:41 EST 8-22-07]:

17.4% Joe DiMaggio
15.7% Jackie Robinson
15.0% Honus Wagner
10.1% Phil Rizzuto
10.0% Pee Wee Reese
7.8% Roy Campanella
5.5% Tris Speaker
3.5% Buck O'Neil
2.8% Larry Doby
2.7% Dom DiMaggio
1.8% Joe Tinker
1.6% Johnny Evers
1.6% Rabbit Maranville
1.2% Frankie Frisch
1.1% Eddie Collins
0.9% Frank Chance
0.8% Oscar Charleston
0.7% Al Simmons

Also: c'mon. Tinker, Evers, AND Chance? I mean, that shit is all anecdotal, right? Someone wrote a goddamn poem and all of the sudden they qualify as the best glove-men in the history of the sport? What a fucking travesty of a toadshit butt-poll.

I voted for Rabbit Maranville, because that's the sweetest name of them all. Which I figure is just as good of a reason - in a poll that's based on defensive prowess - as voting for Joe D. because of a 56-game hit streak and a Simon and Garfunkle song (there's some pop-culture for you- it's just like the ESPN guys do it!).

"A panel of baseball experts chosen by Rawlings" is actually half-way intelligent because they left Craig Biggio off the 50 player ballot, realizing no doubt that he only won his 4 Gold Gloves because he was popular and a good hitter whereas 3 of those probably should have gone to pre-steroid Bret Boone who at the time was just a slick-incredible infielder who was busy setting fielding percentage records (0.997, 1997) and, irrelevantly, probably being a dick because that's what he was purported to be.

I know fielding percentage is a shitty way to measure defense, but here we go anyways:

Fielding Percentage 95-97
Boone: .994, .991, .997
Biggio: .986, .989, .979

AND, even though Biggio put up a respectable 13 FRAA in '97, Booney bested him with 17 FRAA.

Thusly, ESPN's fanbase is negative all-the-way intelligent because they voted Biggio as the biggest omission from the 50 player ballot.

Moving on.

"A panel of baseball experts chosen by Rawlings" loses all validity it may have gained by keeping Biggio off by placing Derek Jeter on the all time best 50 GG winner party ballot. Because the newest and hottest defensive metrics all indicate that Jeter is a piece of crap as a fielder. Look it up yourself.

ESPN's fanbase is negative at-all intelligent to the bajillionth power because Derek Jeter recieved any votes at all as the "biggest snub" from the All-Known-Mostly-For-Their-Offense team.

On the other hand, major kudos to those who voted for choosing some guy I never heard of - Wes Parker - at first base. Because I can only assume that if I haven't heard of him, he was probably legitimately good at defense.





I'm dumbest for hoping that the poll would yield historically accurate results.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

The Harold Baines Is Not Yet Dead Memorial Honorary Guest Post: David, on How Much ESPN Sucks

[originally posted by David on our fantasy baseball league discussion board]

Okay, did you guys watch the home run derby? Let me refresh your memories a little bit...

After Ryan Howard was eliminated, Peter Gammons conducted a short interview with him on the sidelines. Here's a rough transcription of what took place:

PG: Ryan, a lot of players say that competing in the home run derby can mess with your mechanics for the rest of the year. Did you feel negatively effected after you performance last year?

RH: Um, not really.

Okay, wait a minute Peter. I've got a little interview I'd like to conduct with you:

DR: You mean last year when Ryan Howard hit 58 home runs (30 after the all star break) and won the National League MVP award?

PG: Yeah, right. Last year.

DR: What are you? Fucking retarded?

PG: Maybe. Or just really fucking old.

DR: How is it that you have a job covering the baseball when you obviously don't know anything about baseball?

PG: Focus groups found me far less obnoxious than Chris "Gives a stupid nickname to every professional athlete such as but not limited to Albert Winnie the Pooh Jols" Berman.

Christ. I am so sick of ESPN right now. I'm gonna start my own sports news show where we don't waste time listening to Keyshawn "Stupid football player" Johnson talking about whether Lisa Leslie or Jeff Gordon is more "now"