Some Fucking Amazing Shit

From the Reds MLB site, Ryan Freel on how he would pitch if he ever did the 9 positions in
one game thing:

"I would definitely throw the first one behind the guy's head," Freel
said. "Just to make him think, 'I don't know what the heck is going on.' Then
I'd provably groove in a strike and hopefully he doesn't hit a home run. Then
I'd probably throw the next one over his head again and play around with him."

And if the batter takes issue and charges the mound?

"I'm hoping Dunn can come in from left field real quick," Freel
said. "Actually, I'll just run out to left field. The guy won't catch me, I'll
tell you that."

That sounds like the strategy that Wily Mo Adams used for streetball when we were 12. Except I was way faster.

Lonnie Wheeler thinks Adam Dunn should be traded for Ass Penny

I hope the title didn't give too much away re: my feelings about this suggestion.
To start off, let's admit that Brad Penny isn't that bad:

2005: 3.90 ERA, 1.29 WHIP, ERA+ 104 (NL average: 4.22, 1.38*)
2006: 4.33 ERA, 1.38 WHIP, ERA+ 106 (NL average: 4.49, 1.37*)

But he really isn't that good either.
Here are more numbers from some other guy to make my point:

2005: 4.17 ERA, 1.40 WHIP, ERA+ 108 (AL average: 4.35, 1.37*)
2006: 4.75 ERA, 1.67 WHIP, ERA+ 93 (AL average: 4.56, 1.42*)

Who dis other dude is? He be Kirk Saaarloooos. So clearly Penny is better than Saarloos. But, point is...gosh, not that much better.

Look, I know, it's really hard to look past Opening Day starts by Cory Lidle, Jimmy Haynes, and Joey "Oh, my God...is that a manitee on the mound? Someone should do something about that. Seriously, who has Sea World's phone number?" Hamilton, but the fact is that the Reds rotation is solid now.

ON THE OTHER HAND, the Reds offense let itself be lulled to sleep in the middle of the playoff race last year. Also, our best hitter left for free agency. Also, our second best hitter is aging and kind of susceptible to injury. Also, I have a bad feeling Brandon Phillips and David Ross aren't going to hit nearly as well as they did last year.

That said, Wheeler does make a good point that Dunn's superficial value (big ole homers) is probably a lot higher than his actual value (subpar fielding, low BA w/ RISP), so trading him wouldn't be a bad idea. Let's just not trade him for another Eric Milton. Because we already have like 4 of him.

Also, Brad Penny totally looks like a dick.

*my calculations, could be off